Inane names – really awful names

Some parents just need to be slapped. We’ve all met people and upon introduction, cringed at hearing their names.  Last names are sometimes just unfortunate, but there is no excuse for cursing a child with a horrible first/last combination.  Here are some winners which are supposedly actual names and can be found in

Al Caholic, Oliver Clothesoff, I.P. Freely, Seymour Butz, Mike Rotch, Amanda Hugginkiss, Ivana Tinkle, Anita Bath, Maya Buttreeks, Fever Bender (born 1856), Leper Priest (born 1929), Cholera Priest (born 1830 during the second cholera pandemic), Rubella Graves (born 1814), Typhus Black (born 1897), Hysteria Johnson (born 1881), Emma Royd (born 1850), Kathryn E. Coli (born 1894), Mumps Sykes (born 1891), Gamble Moore, Cabbage Haywood, Uranus Stukey, Ghoul Nipple, Acne Fountain, Lust T. Castle, Mary A. Jerk, Ima Whore, Mutton Bucker, Hugh Jass, Fanny Whiffer, Tackle Feigenbutz, Envy Burger, Bum Snoddy. Mule E. McCart, Lard Mooney, Good Hell, Emma Royd, Noble Butt, Naught E. Bishop, Stud Duck, Judas Christian, Holly Wood, Candy Kahne, Harry Pitts, Brock Lee, Catnip Moonbeam, Roxanne Gravel, Rusty Nail, Cole Deggs

Awful first names:

Orangalo and Lamongalo (Jell-O was the only thing she could eat towards the end of her pregnancy), Violence, Truth & Justice (the names of twins), Tyranny, Alias (imagine the fun at a traffic stop), Samurai, Abacus, Nataz (Mom thought it was “cool” that it is Satan spelled backwards), Cascade (who names their child after a detergent?), Levitra, Damya (imagine the child on the playground, “Get down from there Damya!”), Felanie (prediction or curse?)

Sometimes, people think they can invent their own clever pronunciations for words and that nobody will figure it out (shades of “It’s spelled ‘luxury yacht’ but it’s pronounced ‘throat warbling mangrove'”):

Shithead (pronounced Shi-TAYd)
Pajama (pronounced pay-jeh-meh)
Strange’ (pronounced Straw ja’)

Celebrities seem to be especially eccentric when it comes to baby names:

Apple (Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow)
Moxie CrimeFighter (Magician Penn Jillette)
Hopper (Sean Penn and Robin Wright)
Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf)
Sosie (Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick)
Destry (Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw)
Aurelius Cy (Elle Macpherson)
Kal-El Coppola (Nicolas Cage)
Bluebell Madonna (Spice Girl Geri Halliwell)
Audio Science (Actress Shannyn Sossamon)
Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone)
Tallulah (Bruce Willis and Demi Moore)
Kyd (David Duchovny and Tea Leoni)
Moon Unit (Frank Zappa)
Dweezil (Frank Zappa)


2 comments on “Inane names – really awful names

  1. Actors should never be allowed to speak without a writer telling them what to say. Nothing worse than when a great actor who plays a character you love goes on a chat show and is an imbecile or an ass. I can never see them in that character the same way.

  2. Pingback: URL

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